There’s a stupid game that my brother and I sometimes play. It’s called the Sherman Brothers Game. In this game, the idea is to come up with a new title for a Sherman Brothers song by throwing nonsensical syllables into the song title. As long as it rhymes, it’s a winner. It’s really more of […]
Author: Shane
Indian Curses are the Least of Your Worries
Forget about flooded ghost towns, howling bobcats, avalanches, steaming geysers, runaway trains, cave-ins, or shrieking flocks of bats. If it’s grave danger you seek, you can start by looking in the loading area. Legend tells of a Big Thunder Mining Company, which struck gold in this little corner of Frontierland. They expanded operations, riddled the […]
Did This Swiss Family Treehouse Cannon Protect Against Swan Boat Attacks?
If Hans Gruber wanted to attack Adventureland, he’d stand a pretty good chance at turning that Tiki Room pagoda into the next Nakatomi Tower, but everything is else is too much work. The Magic Carpets are guarded by spitting camels, the Jungle Cruise is too spread out, and the Pirates of the Caribbean has all […]
Tramp Sleeps With the Fishes
Never go against the family. That’s the lesson here, especially in the high powered Italian underworld of Main Street U.S.A. “Take the gun, leave the meatballs.” Tramp always had it coming. He should have known better than to skim free spaghetti dinners from a kingpin like Tony. And he’s out flaunting his status with those […]
Shoving Complaints Down Your Throat
Go to Walt Disney World enough times and you’re bound to be accosted at some point by Disney survey takers, usually right when you’re leaving the park. The questions they ask are usually pretty innocuous for most guests (“Did you visit American Idol Experience?” “Did you take advantage of our picnic lunch program?” “If Ariel […]
Just Us Chickens
Today I’d like you to meet the only animatronics in Toontown. These lovely ladies may not look like much, but when it comes to three-dimensional moving figures, they’re all you’re gonna get. Everything else is either a statue, a painting, or some college kid in a foam rubber suit. These gals aren’t that hard to […]
Mysterious Holes
This is the week, America. This is the week when those wonderful blue construction walls start popping up in earnest for the “biggest expansion in the Magic Kingdom’s history.” They’ve been hard at work behind the scenes, but now we’re actually going to see some closures. First to bite the dust: Pooh’s Playful Spot and […]
Back in the Saddle
When it comes to naming a carousel after a Disney movie, one can look back and easily arrive at Cinderella. It’s a natural fit, since she had a pet horse which was turned into a human, and mice which were also turned to horses for about twenty seconds of screen time. This obvious conclusion only […]
capitalizing on a tower
Nothing says that the world is tiny like a giant, soaring 120 foot tower. If it was still around today, it would be the second tallest structure in the Magic Kingdom, but of course it’s gone. Pepsi Co isn’t even the sponsor of “it’s a small world” anymore. That honor is reserved for the Daisy […]