The night is dark and cold. The wind howls up the lonely road. The ponderous shadows are as dark as my thoughts as I contemplate the unsettling fact that A-List Hollywood Superstar Ryan Gosling wrote an entire album of weird spook music inspired by the Haunted Mansion. How did we even get here? This all […]
Theme Park Life
The ONLY Way to Ride It’s a Small World
There are right ways and wrong ways to do anything in life. For example if you go to a BBQ restaurant and order kale you are doing it the wrong way. If you drive a Pontiac Aztec you are doing it the wrong way. There is only one proper way to ride It’s a Small […]
We Rode It’s A Small World During the Solar Eclipse and Did Not Blink
A cosmic event like yesterday’s solar eclipse comes along once in a lifetime. People held parties. Entrepreneurs sold merchandise. Some folks developed superpowers. And while everyone was outside struggling with funny glasses, Parkeology had a brilliant idea. Everyone was watching the same old sun. But we’re Parkeology, darnit. We’re different. Since we’re old pros at awkwardly […]
Universal Announces Even More Screens at Impromptu U24 Expo
In the wake of last week’s D23 Expo by Walt Disney Parks and Resorts — which announced 9 new rides, multiple new entertainment venues, several themed lands overhauls, 2 premium hotels, 1 cruise ship, and an ill-conceived gondola system — Universal Studios Orlando hastily held an impromptu U24 Expo on a giant screen outside the City […]
Will Park Fans Enjoy Spider-Man Homecoming?
Spider-Man Homecoming opened this weekend. You heard it here first. If you spread the word, maybe this little indie can recoup its cost. There’s a lot of crossover between movies and theme parks. Disneyland was built by movie-makers. It uses movie tricks to tell movie stories. It even sells overpriced popcorn. So maybe there’s room to […]
How Pandora Will Affect the WDW47 Challenge
There’s been a ton of interest in our WDW47 Challenge lately (Every Disney Ride in a Single Operating Day). If you’re not familiar with it, you can read all about it here. Today we want to address and clarify all the questions we’ve been getting lately about how Pandora will be treated for purposes of […]
Hundred Acre Wood Class of ’77 – Where Are They Now? You Don’t Want To Know
My nostalgic mood lasted all of thirty seconds. I had no sooner parked the rental car and walked through the door of the Hundred Acre Wood gymnasium when I was immediately tackled to the ground by Tigger. I heard something rip in my $1500 suit as I went flying into the bleachers. I hoped it […]
Parkeology is proud to introduce your newest must have kitchen accessory
Whether you are making a signature “Frozen Walt” cocktail, hosting a fun cryogenics themed party or simply enjoy icons of the twentieth century portrayed as cheap novelty items our “Uncle Walt on Ice” ice cube tray is perfect for you. To order simply keep holding your breath.
Watch Out For These 5 Offensive Pre-Shows at Disney Theme Parks
Last summer, Disney shockingly altered the pre-show to Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith to remove a crude hand gesture by the band’s lead singer. Now that it’s safe to enjoy the underwear-sponsored attraction and its family-friendly Aerosmith songs about steamy love-making in a roller coaster, Disney can finally turn its attention to the remaining […]