With Teevtee off galavanting through famed naturalist John Muir’s back yard, I figured I should probably get off my lazy butt and post something good here. But instead I went to Magic Kingdom. It was a nice stroll through the park near sunset, which is probably my favorite time of day to visit (my second […]
Magic Kingdom
The Dog Days of Summer
Parkeology is your definitive source for ridiculous lists! Only here will you find a comprehensive compendium of sea serpentia, Bing Crosby ephemera, and domestic attraction exports. The ironic part is that whenever I try a new list, I invariably leave something off, which causes much embarrassment here at the parkeology offices, and has led to […]
Stocks and Bongos
The most evil buzzword in the theme park industry today is “interactive” (followed closely by “guest experience,” and rounded out by “Potter-killer.”) I’m a traditionalist, darn it, and I prefer my theme parks shaken, not stirred. If I have to hear about another “living character initiative” or “NextGen project,” I think I’m going to have […]
Helium Dreams
Every now and then I’ll run across something straight out of the haunted past of Disney World, before it was overrun with FastPasses, princesses, and those awful parade performance stops. I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. Maybe not with Disney World, but other things from childhood. Like a familiar smell that triggers a memory of […]
The Spanish Word for Pirate
Today we have a story in which a young child learns about other cultures. He also learns about friendship, togetherness, and world peace, but not until EPCOT Center opens. No, this story takes place way in the past, and the young child is me. Let me ask you a question that I think I know […]
Captain Hook’s Hook is on Which Hand? It’s Complicated.
Captain Hook’s hand was lost in a fight with Peter Pan. But which hand was is Captain Hook’s hook? Disneyland and Disney World do not agree.
Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Queue
This tree is so much more awesome living 30 feet away from where it used to live. Today I want to talk about Interactive Pooh. No, I will not be stooping to any cheap bathroom jokes. I hope. But I did get a chance to see the new Queue for Winnie-the-Pooh out at the Magic […]
Making My Own Philharmagic
This is a bit of a departure today from our usual hard-hitting news and breathtaking secrets, but today I would like to spend a few moments talking about a serious disorder that affects 9 out of every 10 parkeologists. It’s called GAS, which doctors inform me stands for Giveit Away Syndrome. In one sense, it’s […]
The Misquotable Pinocchio
You know how some of those old Disney songs have all these weird words to remember? If you can recite entire verses of Higitus Figitus without a cheat sheet and a degree in linguistics, you are either some kind of savant or your name is Richard M. Sherman. If you can’t, don’t feel bad. Even […]