Or, The Bizarre Bazaar: How I Spent My Vacation Researching Morbid Death Camps. It’s always such a chore picking post headlines here in the Parkeology offices. I always like the funny, alliterative ones, but they usually aren’t very descriptive. Wouldn’t it be great if Adventureland’s Agrabah Bazaar sold brassieres? That would be a headline I […]
Magic Kingdom
Bugs Bunny is Better
It’s inescapable. At some point in your life as a Disney Fan, you will bump into Captain Contrarian. You know this character. He is very easy to recognize. He is the Uncle or Lab Partner or Friend-of-a-Friend who latches on to the fact that you like Disney stuff, and then proceeds to tell you how […]
Born and Bred in a Fire Trap
Rabbits may be clever about a great many things, but the idea of open-flame cooking in a giant patch of brittle thorn brambles is probably not up there among the brightest ideas in the universe. Witness Brer Rabbit’s house, the Briar Patch, where a giant fireplace makes a nice centerpiece to their little collection of kindle. […]
Yo Ho Yo Ho Chim Chim Cheree
There’s a stupid game that my brother and I sometimes play. It’s called the Sherman Brothers Game. In this game, the idea is to come up with a new title for a Sherman Brothers song by throwing nonsensical syllables into the song title. As long as it rhymes, it’s a winner. It’s really more of […]
Indian Curses are the Least of Your Worries
Forget about flooded ghost towns, howling bobcats, avalanches, steaming geysers, runaway trains, cave-ins, or shrieking flocks of bats. If it’s grave danger you seek, you can start by looking in the loading area. Legend tells of a Big Thunder Mining Company, which struck gold in this little corner of Frontierland. They expanded operations, riddled the […]
Did This Swiss Family Treehouse Cannon Protect Against Swan Boat Attacks?
If Hans Gruber wanted to attack Adventureland, he’d stand a pretty good chance at turning that Tiki Room pagoda into the next Nakatomi Tower, but everything is else is too much work. The Magic Carpets are guarded by spitting camels, the Jungle Cruise is too spread out, and the Pirates of the Caribbean has all […]
Tramp Sleeps With the Fishes
Never go against the family. That’s the lesson here, especially in the high powered Italian underworld of Main Street U.S.A. “Take the gun, leave the meatballs.” Tramp always had it coming. He should have known better than to skim free spaghetti dinners from a kingpin like Tony. And he’s out flaunting his status with those […]
Just Us Chickens
Today I’d like you to meet the only animatronics in Toontown. These lovely ladies may not look like much, but when it comes to three-dimensional moving figures, they’re all you’re gonna get. Everything else is either a statue, a painting, or some college kid in a foam rubber suit. These gals aren’t that hard to […]
Mysterious Holes
This is the week, America. This is the week when those wonderful blue construction walls start popping up in earnest for the “biggest expansion in the Magic Kingdom’s history.” They’ve been hard at work behind the scenes, but now we’re actually going to see some closures. First to bite the dust: Pooh’s Playful Spot and […]